" The violence flies repellently over the top, and the finale features an extended joke so insanely sexist it sends us out on a seriously sour note."
Chris Cabin
" It's structured in familiar, safe terms, plays for very low stakes, and appeals to no one so much as white, male teenagers with chips on their shoulders."
Donald Clarke
"Though competently acted and lushly upholstered, this childish film is let down by bold-type irony: so bludgeoning that it ceases to merit the description. "
It is a movie made for white men with chips on their shoulders that spits in the eye of minorities, women, and science in all its childlike wonders.
Go ahead argue with me... It's set in Britain.
But it is the British that saves the world. No one else questioned Mr. Valentine's ploy--not AT&T, not Verizon, and certainly not Comcast. How could they? It was free wifi!!!! How did Mr. Valentine get his money? I suppose it doesn't matter... because he happened to exist to begin with. I will give him that. But alas! The saviors of the world are a group of only white people while the only colored people present were as evil doers.
Strange too.. How is such an ingenious device that produces free wifi created? Seriously... Connection is only as good as the cell towers that exists in the area, so how does the implantation of a chip in one's head create a signal? If Mr. Valentine bought all the cell towers then shouldn't everyone's head be sharing the available wifi thus making connection slow.
Mr. Valentine's goals were noble, but misguided. He wanted to do something about climate change, so he decided on population control. From the perspective of a human, his actions were evil. But from the perspective of a chicken intelligent enough to comprehend what was going on, the death of humans is neither good nor bad--infact possibly good because the chicken will have a higher probability of living. By us being here today, we are bringing about a mass extinction of other species. Mr. Valentine goes about his plan picking up celebrities along the way all of whom agree with his plan for mass extinction. In effect, Mr. Valentine is playing God. This is the only aspect of Mr. Valentine that I consider wicked, but no more so than the celebrities who also selfishly choose themselves over others. In the end, Valentine dies, but Climate change is still a problem.
In fact the ending is a massive problem, from a feminist's and adult's perspective. In the end, Eggie saves the world and gets his prize, anal sex from the princess. Not only is the princess merely a prize to be saved for our hero. Her value to the hero was only for the sex she can provide because of the only merit she has, her looks. She may be brave enough to disagree with Mr. Valentine, but Eggie doesn't know that. I don't think Roxy belongs with Eggsy. I think Eggsy thinks of her as a sister colleague that he respects more. In all aspects related to Roxy, I see only praiseworthy things. Gazelle is pretty bad ass too. Even though it didn't pass the Bechtel test, I can see this movie being neutral in terms of gender discrimination aside from the ending. Good and bad exists in all degrees in both sexes.
I thought it was childish when everyone was chanting Eggsy's name. Remember the "Eggsy, Eggsy, Eggsy!" or the "Good job Eggsy!" or the "Great Job Eggsy!" A young boy who had a chip in his shoulder surely needs encouragement not Roxy, not Merlin, not anyone else. Why did Merlin not join the frey? so that only Eggsy could say he took out Mr. Valentine's WHOLE FUCKING ARMY! without a scratch--just a tie cut in half. Talk about unrealistic. Eggsy is infallible, but Harry Hart was. He made the most rookie mistakes. He caused Eggsy's father to die, and he went to visit the professor without any precautions!!! Maybe Harry couldn't predict the explosion, but I could predict some sort of disaster. Also, why the hell did Harry not scout out the church before entering it? or the gala before realizing it was cancelled? How could he simply accept a burger at Mr. Valentine's place? (To trust the enemy with no caution as a spy?) And why would Mr. Valentine need to place a track Harry's movement when he knows where Kingsmen HQ is by that old leader of the Kingsmen who agreed to help him with his plan for population control? Harry is fallible, so he died. Roxy is fallible because she has fears, and the world is fallible for falling easily for Mr. Valentine's ploy. Eggsy's mom is fallible because she put her life in the dumpster. When Eggsy is fallible, reckless, he is only fallible for a reason. He steals cars and gets into fights because his life is in the dumpster. Also, why was Eggsy's suit made even though he failed to become a Kingsmen and Roxy's not? Why was all of Eggsy's weaponry created and prepared for him on that plane when he clearly failed? Why did he wear those glasses in the end when he has okay eye sight? Why does he dress so obviously like a Kingsmen in the lair of the enemy who has seen Harry dressed the exact same way???
This movie also plays on gendered sometimes racial stereotypes therefore it is by its nature unoriginal. Let me name a few: evil man with a lisp and his hot ninja secretary, a white boy with a chip in his shoulder, the Hermoine Granger, the hot slut at the end, the abusive father and failing single mother, the predominantly white male "knights." The media has yet to show the predominantly Asian troop of Kingsmen who save the world, the Hispanic girl with a chip on her shoulder who is reckeless in driving and does parkour as good as Eggie, the hot black male ninja secretary, and the evil white man dressed in threads from the hoods complete with baseball cap tipped to the side (in other words, an evil slim shady).
TL;DR
- Climate change still exists. Problem not solved.
- Eggsy didn't suffer a scratch from his battles.
- Harry Hart makes the most rookie mistakes that Eggsy doesn't make.
- Contains Racist/Sexist stereotypes.
Reason for 3/5
- +3 stars: Entertaining and engaging.
- +1 star: Film has crisp visuals, not distracting, adds to mood, no shaky cam.
- -1 star: for all the problems and inconsistencies above.
- +0 stars: no out of the ordinary artistic quality.
anytime I say Kingsmen I mean Kingsman because of course you know, there is only one Kingsman.
