Getting shot- work in progress

looking back:

      I was just standing next to a bus stop when a 1999 GMC suv stopped right in front of me.  The person at shot gun leaned his head out of the car to look around to see if anyone else was around (which nobody was), and pulled out his pistol. And then, I felt my heart jump from 70 bpm to like 130 bpm because I saw that his black pistol under his jacket was aiming at me.  I started asking myself what he wanted from a muscle less, bland, and more importantly-poor- wreck like me until he whispered for me to get into the car.
      My mind focused on my eyes which were fixed on his gun.  When he repeated his command, my eyes shifted to his bright brown eyes.  I was like a deer in head lights.  He whispered for me to get into the car around six times, but I wouldn't move.  He must've taken my inaction as retaliation because his command for me to get in came out harsher the seventh time, and he moved his pistol forward this time telling me he would seriously shoot.  But his words only caused me to moved back a step.  And he was serious, so he shot.  I fell.
     I've read on the internet that being shot is like a glowing iron stake being shoved into the area you were shot.  Though I've never had a stake though me, I felt as though this pain description was accurate.  Because even when I fell, I couldn't hear the thud or feel myself fall over the pain in my knee.
     Anyways, the guy who was at shot gun moved to the back seat, opened the side door of the car and forced me in by my collar.



To edit:
It sounds a little bit rushed as I read it.  and sometimes doesn't seem to connect.  want to put in details some places, but don't know how at moment.  Want to flow in thought/ make sense.
   
At the moment:
      I wanted to do a present tense narrative of a scene but it's difficult and not often done because it would sound more like a conversation.

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It sucks I know.  I updated it recently 4/14/2013 with work in progress 2