Life is not fair, I've accepted that fact, but that doesn't mean I can't bitch about it. Here I bitch to relieve some stress without expecting anything to be done about it. Got it?
I hate my mother.
Sure I have everything in the world to thank for her. My upbringing, my birth, and my livelihood, but she's a good for nothing with every control over my finances.
I'm too busy to work, but I'll still try this summer. It's not nearly enough for a living though let a lone my own tuition. Not by a looong shot, fortunately, my mom won't force me into the medical profession like the rest of the Asian families though she did insist I go in that direction.
For us, every little scrapple in which I was completely justified in being mad ended up with her mad at me. Why? because it all comes down to how "I'm paying for your tuition." For instance, we had a plane to catch at 10 pm back home. We left at 7:30 knowing that it takes at least an hour to get to the airport. Previously we planned to leave at 6 pm, but she had to pack her 3 suitcases filled with useless crap where one had to have a $50 overweight charge on it. She also had tons of carry-on's which she passed to me without asking me to carry it for her. The item was heavy, and since she was late, she rushed me, and all the shit we had to take with us was a product of her shopping addiction.
I wasn't even feeling that good that day because I received some shit news. Earlier, instead of being comforted, she COMPLETELY ignored what I said and went on to discuss what she still had left to buy. I had good reason to sulk, but she bitched about my sulking after I told her my bad news. Then she bitched about my sulking when we arrived at the airport late, we were forced to rush. Therefore we didn't have enough time to buy food because the plane gate closed early, and I continued to sulk because I was hungry because there was no time to buy food. After every repercussion of her lateness, and every step of the way, instead of remotely showing any sign of guilt, she bitched about my sulking. Then, I told her to not be late next time. Then she told me she had to take everything. Then this, then that lead to "Fine, I don't want to pay for your fucking tuition."
Since money determines all arguments, its impossible but to be dependent and be needy. What's more, if I don't respond to her "angry" questions, she'll get mad. If I don't respond to her demands, she'll get mad. Silent treatment is therefore not an option. Taking away the option of distancing myself from her, the situation left such that both of us are passive aggressive towards each other. The word "vengeance" has been given a bad name and I'm talking to those who believe it so. But I believe in vengeance. It's called our justice system. Being vengenceful, I'll remind myself to not invite that fucking bitch to anything I pay for in the future. Additionally, I refuse to be her retirement plan.
Most people grow up thinking that they owe their parents something. Why should you? The power in society is lead by the older generation that brought the younger one up without asking it too. Since society is lead by the older people, the older people lead the younger people to think a certain way, namely to respect your elders. But why should anyone respect their elders? My parents have taught me to hate. My mom does it all the time, and so through her fault and mine, I hate profusely and I stress. I wouldn't hate if I was never born, I don't believe in heaven or hell, and I also believe one's soul is bound to one's current life if there is such a thing. If I wasn't born, I wouldn't regret. Why should I be thankful for being born?
Not to mention, she has too much financial control over the household. When she threatened to get rid of cable T.V. some years back, both dad and I had to beg not to. Why? because she pays for it all. Dad spends hours at the shop while my mom shops, but everything is under mom's name. And if she did get rid of cable, she'd still have her T.V. through VCR because her entertainment didn't come through cable anyways. But dad refuses to gain his own control because 1) He's a pussy. and 2) He's lazy.
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