Getting shot-work in progress 2

So... My first "work in progress" was shit.  so I just reworked the entire thing.

looking back:

      I waited for the next bus back home, when some old, banged-up SUV stopped right in front of me.  The person at shot gun stuck his head out of the car and looked around to see if anyone else was around.  And nobody was, so he pulled his pistol out from his oversized gray jacket, and surreptitiously aimed it at me.  My heart jump 50 beats.  The world in my head disappeared to focus on my hyper-activated senses.  

      He said something I couldn't hear too well.  But his hand motioned for me to come closer.  So I did by 2 steps until I realized that he wanted me to get into the car.  Instead of continuing forward, I stepped back with my eyes still fixed on the gun.  I half-rasped/asked, "why?" 

"Your not in a position to ask why. Come here."  

I remembered the broken record method in a conversation workshop I was forced to take which dictates to only say:

"no."  

"If you don't come I might have to shoot you."

and to continue to say only:

"no."

"I'll give you 10 seconds."

"1"

"no"

"2"

"no"

"3" His voice got harsher.

"no"

4..5..6...7...8..9... Each time I took a step back, and each time my voice grew shakier.   

"10"

"no... no... please no...!"
A miniature shockwave reverberated through the air around the bullet.   

I was unfortunate to discover that his threats weren't empty.  Because the next thing I knew, I fell to the ground feeling only physical pain, and fainting shortly afterwards before I could grasp what resulted.

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"...if anyone else was around.  And nobody was..."  I wanted the reader to get the sense that the nobody was the person narrating the story at the same time I wanted the reader to know that "I" was alone.

Also, the "I" was intended to be some male so that it didn't look like the guy holding the gun was looking to rape.