For a while now, I've been at odds with some of my friends because of the fundamental difference in the way they think vs the way I think, and I have come to the conclusion that 1) they value different things as academics and 2) they are just interested in different things. Due to my frustration at the way they think, I have lied about my feelings towards certain subjects (because everything is uninteresting when you are in a bad mood, then you act upon your feelings and say you hate it when you really don't). In this sense, I am a little outspoken, I over think things, and I seriously need to chill.
For now, I see my only solution to be to meditate to chill, and to ignore them for sometime to focus on my own studies and talk to the people in my own major.
So What's brilliance? I've always been called "smart," and I am (arrogantly) taking that as a defining quality of myself, but carefully! It is like a professor who is knows he is smarter than the rest of them, but who knows he is ignorant to the accumulation of his field of study. Unfortunately, being called smart creates a hierarchy in a competitive college like mine. So no one here calls each other smart. but I digress and I don't want to finish this paragraph. Just think of brilliance as being as empty as thin air.
CONCLUSION:
This first part is my own meanderings and epiphany on what I just learned about myself that should've been so obvious to myself long ago. It is what prompted the subject of the next post which will be my main points. I put this separate because this part might not at all be relatable to the reader, yet I bothered to post it because this blog is in part a personal reflection.
No comments:
Post a Comment